


Killing Yourself to Live

by m3535, Zayhad



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Drug Withdrawal, Heavy Angst, Junkie Remus, M/M, Protective Sirius, Sensitive and naivë Regulus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:16:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29676882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m3535/pseuds/m3535, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zayhad/pseuds/Zayhad
Summary: ...“As soon as he gets the itch for a fix he’s gone again, Reggie, with whatever else of value he can find in your home. Don’t get involved, do you hear me? You’ll just end up getting hurt. You can’t be friends with an addict because you can’t trust them and they’ll take advantage of you.”“Have a little faith in humanity, Sirius,” said Regulus, annoyed. “Anyway, it’s none of your business.”...
Relationships: Regulus Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 13





	1. What Are You Doing in this Part of Town?

**Author's Note:**

> So - after a way too long break we're finally back with another fic! I've had a very long writer's block, but I seem to have finally gotten over it.  
> We hope some of the old fans are still hanging on in the fandom, and of course we'll happily welcome new readers :)  
> We'll post every Thursday as usual.

**Thanks to _Black Sabbath_ for the title. You can hear the song here:**

“We’re going the wrong way,” said Regulus, looking out of the window of his colleague’s Prius. They had just left the company party and since she had stayed sober, she had offered to drive Regulus home. “You had to turn south back there.”

“I’m going the right way,” she said, sending him a sweet smile. “My place is in this direction.”

“What? I told you I didn’t want to sleep with you!”

“Oh, Regulus, don’t play hard to get. I could tell by the way you were chatting me up that you want to.”

“I’m sorry if I gave you that impression, but I’m gay. Everyone at the company knows it.”

“Well…” she said, sending him a quick look. “I’ve heard that nobody’s sexual preference is a 100% fixed, so don’t you think it’s time you try a woman? Do a bit of experimenting?” She reached over and cupped him through his trousers. She giggled when the young man nearly jumped out of his skin. “Relax. I’m not going to hurt you.”

“I said NO! Turn the car around and drive me home like you promised!”

“I’ll drive you home in the morning,” she said, stopping at a red light.

“Crazy bint,” Regulus mumbled. “Well, I’m getting off here, then,” he said and was out of the car before she could react. He rushed into an alley so she couldn’t follow him with her car. When he heard her take off, he took a look around. It was a bad part of town, that was clear, and he felt very misplaced and unsafe. He whipped out his mobile and called a taxi. He took a deep breath, feeling his heart pound in his chest; both from the close call with the crazy woman and because he didn’t feel safe here. After a few minutes, he decided to leave the ally so that the taxi driver would be able to see him.

Almost all the windows in the houses around the block were dark and some were broken, so Regulus guessed most were abandoned. Walls were covered with graffiti and a few people could be seen standing under the streetlights or in the shadows, only visible by the glow of a cigarette, or sitting curled up in doorways, pulling newspapers over themselves for warmth.

Regulus was so busy studying his surroundings that he didn’t notice the two men moving up behind him. “You don’t seem to belong here,” one suddenly said.

Regulus jumped. “I-I...” he said, his heart hammering in his throat. “I’m just waiting for a taxi. It’ll be here any minute now.”

“Mind giving us that coat, then?” the other said. “Since you won’t be needing it if you’re taking a taxi in a minute.”

Regulus looked down himself. He wasn’t keen on letting go of his coat, since it was freezing cold and he didn’t know how long the taxi would be. He was also very fond of this particular coat. But if it would make these men go away, he supposed it was worth it. Besides, it wasn’t as if he couldn’t easily afford a new one. “Okay...” he said and handed it over.

“Thanks, mate,” said the taller of the men, walking around the now shivering young man. “Got any dosh?”

“Yeah, you look like you could spare some,” the other added, eying Regulus up and down.

Regulus had suspected as much. Problem was he was low on cash, and he didn’t know if they would be satisfied with that. But he took out his wallet and handed over the 30 pounds he thought he could spare.

“30 quid?” said the man, unimpressed. “Give us the rest – empty the wallet.”

Regulus shook his head. “That’s all I can spare. I have to pay the taxi driver.”

“Well, I didn’t ask what you could spare, did I?” said the man, taking a threatening step toward Regulus, looming over him. “I told you to give me what you got!”

“How do you expect me to get home, then?” Then he remembered his credit card, which of course he could pay the taxi with, and hoped they wouldn’t take that and force him to give up the code. “All right - take the rest,” he said and handed the last notes and coins.

They man pocketed the money, but neither showed any sign of leaving, which made Regulus truly start to worry for his safety.

They started walking around him until they stopped, one on each side of him. “You know… he looks like a little rich boy. Your family loaded, rich boy?”

Regulus felt ice run down his back. “W-what do you mean? I just gave you all my money...”

One of the men suddenly grinned and pulled Regulus over to stand under the nearby street light. “Look at that,” he said to the other man, running his fingers through Regulus’ hair. “I bet Tom Riddle would pay us a nice chunk for an hour with such a pretty little thing.”

“Yeah,” grinned the other. “This one’s just his type.”

It took a moment for Regulus to catch onto what they were talking about, and then he panicked, bolting towards the street, but the bigger of the men grabbed him by the arm and slammed him against the wall. The wind having been knocked out of him, Regulus gasped for breath for a moment, then started screaming and struggling to get free.

“Best save your voice, pretty boy,” tutted the shorter of the men. “Old Tom likes it when they scream. He also likes -” He was cut short when something heavy swung through the air and hit him in the back. He stumbled to the ground, Regulus being yanked down with him before he lost his grip on him.

Regulus looked up, seeing a stranger hitting the one on the ground several times with a rod or stick or whatever the object was.

“Stop! Stop!” whimpered the thug on the ground.

“Get up, then, and FUCK OFF!” yelled the mystery person.

The man stumbled to his feet and scrambled off. His friend had already disappeared, obviously not wanting a taste for himself. The stranger tossed away the rod, the clanking sound as it hit the ground echoing off the surrounding buildings. He took a moment to catch his breath before turning toward Regulus and offering him a hand to pull him up off the ground.

Regulus looked him over when he got to his feet. It wasn’t a big man, to his surprise. Fairly tall, but very skinny. “Thank you! Thank you so much!”

“No problem,” the man said and sent him a smile. He picked up Regulus’ coat and handed it to him. “You dropped this.”

“Oh... thanks,” said Regulus gratefully and put on the coat. “It’s freezing.”

The stranger eyed Regulus up and down. “What are you doing in this part of town? You don’t look like you belong ‘ere.”

“I’m waiting for a taxi. I had a ride but got off because... well a disagreement. I didn’t realise what I was getting myself into.”

“You should go to the diner over on Dunbar and wait there. Much safer. Call your taxi and get it to pick you up there. Taxis don’t come ‘ere.” He scratched his arm. “In’t safe ‘ere.”

“They said they would,” Regulus said. “Had to talk them into it, though.” And just then a taxi pulled up to the curb. Regulus offered his hand. “Thank you so much, once again. You saved me. I’m Regulus.”

The young man shook his hand and smiled softly. “Nice to meet you, Regulus. Get ‘ome safely.” He stepped back and lit a cigarette before disappearing into the alleyway.

Regulus stood looking after him but was shook out of it when the taxi driver honked. “Get in here, mate! I’m not sitting in this bloody place longer than necessary!”

Regulus was dropped off at his flat a little past midnight. He locked himself in and took a deep breath when closing and locking the door. He didn’t think he had actually been breathing regularly since he had gotten out of his colleague’s car.

**o0o0o**

Regulus didn’t sleep much that night and what little sleep he did get was thanks to the alcohol. At 10 a.m. he got up and drove to his brother’s flat. It had hit him that he should have given his saviour a decent reward. He had just thanked him and then been on his way.

“So let me get this straight,” Sirius said, leaning forward and looking at his brother. “You got out of the car, not noticing that you were in the wrong side of town, hid in an ally, got mugged, and actually got away after being saved by some mystery person?” He took a sip of his tea and grinned. “That’s right out of a film.”

“Yes,” sighed Regulus. “But it felt bloody real at the time. So, what do you think about going with me to find him? I don’t want to go alone. Don’t want to get mugged again.”

“You want to go back there?” Sirius said in a surprised tone. “And what? Give him a hundred quid or something?”

“Yes! He saved me. It’s the least I can do. And I doubt he has it easy moneywise. He probably lives on the street. He looked like it.”

“How are you going to find him? Did you get his name?”

“I didn’t get his name, but he had messy hair and was wearing a brown jacket. He was somewhere in his twenties, I think.”

“I guess we can go look, but don’t get your hopes up, littler brother,” Sirius sighed. “It’s not like it’s a very unique description.”

“I know,” sighed Regulus. “Oh, and he didn’t sound local. I mean, his accent. Northern, I think.”

They took Sirius’ car and parked a bit outside of the bad neighbourhood, since Sirius was not keen on getting his Mercedes stolen or vandalised. They continued on foot. “Great neighbourhood,” Sirius said and flipped up his collar as they reached the area where Regulus had been the night before.

“Much better in the daytime, I’ll tell you that.”

They asked around but no one seemed sure of who they could mean until an old man sitting on a blanket with a Labrador mix. “Sounds like Remus,” he said. “Young chap. Bad drug problem, like many here. Either that or booze. He shook his head. It’s sad, that is.”

“Do you know where I can find him?” asked Regulus excitedly. The man suggested a few places where he often saw Remus. “Thank you so much!” said Regulus and handed the man a 50-pound note. “For food,” he said. Then he fished out another 10 pounds. “And some dog biscuits for him.”

“Thank you, lad!” the man exclaimed and quickly put the notes in his pocket. “You have a good heart.”

Sirius put a hand on his brother’s shoulder and led him away. “Don’t go around flaunting your money, Reggie. People here don’t have any, so they won’t hesitate to jump you to steal your wallet, and if you get hurt in the process won’t matter to a junkie looking for a fix.”

“I know... But think about how much that money is going to mean to that bloke. Besides, that’s why I brought you - to be my bodyguard.”

“Yeah, but I can’t fight off the whole bloody neighbourhood, can I?” Sirius said and looked around. “So where do you want to go first?”

“By that church. It’s right over there.”

They didn’t find Remus at the church, but they did find someone who knew Remus and said they had recently seen him at the old factory that the old man with the dog had also mentioned.

In one of the large rooms they found several sofas and mattresses scattered - clearly meant as some sort of living arrangement. There were quite a few people, most stoned out of their minds.

“Have you seen Remus?” Regulus asked one of the people who looked less stoned.

The man nodded in the direction of a mattress in a corner. Regulus hurried over to the man lying on it, looking asleep. “Hey, Remus,” he said and shook him. It took several more violent shakes before Remus stirred and opened his eyes a fraction. He mumbled something incoherent and closed his eyes again.

Regulus got scared. “He’s completely out of it! Is he having an overdose?” he asked the man on the sofa.

“Nah, mate, he’s just having a good buzz.”

“How can you be so indifferent?” asked Regulus angrily.

“Look, posh boy - that’s life here. It’s tough. He’ll probably be alright tomorrow.”

Sirius squatted down beside his brother and studied the man on the mattress. He looked horrific. He was very skinny and his hair as dirty as his face. “What do you want to do?” he asked Regulus. “I mean, you can’t really get through to him at this moment. If you leave the money with him, somebody’s just going to nick it.”

“We can’t leave him here. Look at him - he might not be OD’ing but he’s bloody close. We’ll have to take him to a hospital. Let’s help each other carry him,” suggested Regulus.

“No, it’s easier if I do it alone,” said Sirius and picked up Remus. “Bloody hell, he weighs less than you!”

Remus mumbled a few words that none of them understood so Sirius headed out of the building. None of the people that lived there seemed to notice them at all. “Good thing we aren’t far from the car,” Sirius sighed sarcastically as he walked down the street with the half-unconscious young man in his arms.

**o0o0o**

They got Remus maneuvered into the car and sped to the hospital. At the emergency room he was placed on a gurney and wheeled into a room, Regulus following behind.

“It’s not an OD,” said the doctor and gave Remus an injection. “This should clear him up a bit. You can take him home now. Just keep an eye on him until he’s properly conscious.”

“What? You’ve got to keep him till he’s alright!” exclaimed Regulus.

“Look, if we kept every junkie here there wouldn’t be room for anyone else. So unless they’re at risk of dying, we don’t.”

“But he doesn’t have a home!”

“Well... ask the nurse at the information desk to give you an address for a shelter.”

“I’m taking him home,” Regulus announced to his brother, giving him a recap of what the doctor had said.

“ _What?_ ” Sirius said incredulously. “Reggie, you don’t know him at all! For all you know he could be dangerous when he needs another fix. Have you thought this through?” He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. “And Mum and Dad say _I’m_ the reckless one.”

“I’m taking him home,” said Regulus determinedly. “If he were dangerous he wouldn’t have saved me, would he? And he doesn’t look like he’s in a condition for a fix anytime soon, does he?”

Sirius sighed and finally agreed to help Regulus take Remus home.

**o0o0o**

“You call me if there’s any problems, okay? I mean it, Reggie,” Sirius said as they placed the half-conscious man on the bed in the guest room in Regulus’ flat.

“Of course. Will you keep your phone handy?” said Regulus and drew the curtains.

“It won’t leave my sight. And Reg - if he gets agitated and wants to leave, you don’t try to stop him, is that clear?”

Regulus agreed. “Now, we’ll just let him sleep it off, like they said at the hospital. It’s nice and warm here.”

Sirius sighed. “You’re too kind for your own good. Call me when he wakes up, yeah?”

“Okay.”

Regulus left the door to the guest room open so he could hear if Remus woke, and he went to check on him every few hours. He was still sleeping soundly when Regulus went to bed. He left his own door open as well and set the alarm clock to ring a few times overnight so he could check on his guest. Waking up to find a corpse in his guest room was on his top-10 list of things he never wanted to experience.

**o0o0o**

Remus woke in the middle of the night. He found himself lying on something soft and enveloped in warmth. Had someone thrown blankets over him? He looked around, but still being groggy he couldn’t make out where he was. _What the hell?_ he thought when he finally realised that he was lying in a bed. In a house. He started getting scared. Had someone kidnapped him while he was doped out of his mind? Carefully, he left the bed and tiptoed out of the room and down the hallway until he reached the living room. He froze when the light suddenly turned on, and he spun around and spotted a young handsome man standing at the end of the hallway, fingers on the light switch.

Regulus eyed his guest. He still looked ill, but at least conscious and alert. “Oh, you’re awake! I’m so glad,” he said and, when noticing Remus’ confused expression, added, “I’m Regulus. From the other night. You saved me from those thugs, remember?”

Remus blinked a few times but then calmed a bit down. “Ah... posh coat,” he said and looked around. “Posh flat too, I see.” He turned his head toward Regulus again. “Why am I ‘ere?”

“Why don’t you go back to bed and I’ll explain,” suggested Regulus and gently ushered Remus back to the guestroom. He pointed at the tall glass he had placed on the bedside table earlier. “You should take a drink of water. It’ll do you good.”

Eying Regulus warily, Remus sat down on the bed and took a sip from the glass.

“You nearly OD’ed,” explained Regulus, sitting down on a chair. “I took you to the hospital but they said you weren’t ill enough to keep overnight, so I brought you home. I didn’t know what else to do. I couldn’t just put you back on that filthy mattress in that old warehouse where nobody cared about you.”

Remus’ mouth twitched and he scratched his arm. “Aye, the hospital patches us up and sends us on our way. I guess we should be thankful for that, at least.” He smiled softly at Regulus. “Thanks for taking me in. That was very kind. Can I do summat for you in return, then? And, eh... do you maybe ‘ave some painkillers? Me ‘ead is killing me.”

“Yeah, of course. I’ll get you some. And no, you’ve already done plenty for me. I’m the one who owe _you_. Actually, I went to find you to give you a reward for helping me. And then you were just lying there on that dirty mattress... I couldn’t just leave you there.” He got to his feet. “I’ll just fetch you those pills.”

“T-t-thanks,” said Remus, a shutter running through his body. He wasn’t feeling good at all. His insides were turning and he was starting to sweat, feeling hot and cold at the same time. When Regulus returned with a couple of aspirins, Remus downed them with a mouthful of water.

“You should drink more. Water helps clean out the system when you’re ill or have a hangover. I don’t know much about drugs but I’m guessing the same goes for that,” said Regulus. “Tell me if there’s anything you need, yeah? The bathroom is to the left at the end of the hallway. And what about food? Do you think you can eat something?”

“Not right now, no,” Remus said, shaking his head. He wrapped his arms around himself, his shivering intensifying. “M-maybe I should just sleep some more.”

Regulus nodded. “But finish that glass at least. Do you want me to turn up the heat? You look cold.”

“Yeah, that’d be nice,” Remus nodded and drank the rest of water before climbing under the duvet. He coughed a few times and curled into a ball underneath the covers. He watched Regulus turn up the heat, wondering what had made him take him in. He was a stranger with no ties to or responsibility for Remus, and yet he had taken him into his home to care for him. He had to be nuts.

Regulus fetched another glass of cold water and placed a bucket next to the bed. “So you have it if you need to throw up. I’ll go back to bed too, but I’ll keep the door open, so just call if you need me, yeah?”

* * *

**TEASER for next week's chapter:**

_When Remus finally emerged from the bathroom, clean-shaven and dressed in the clothes Regulus had laid out for him, Regulus could barely recognise him. Apart from still looking a bit sick (and too skinny), he almost looked like a normal young man. “Blimey,” smiled Regulus. “You look refreshed. Didn’t it feel good?”_

_“It did,” Remus confirmed and carded a hand through his hair, the now untangled locks sliding smoothly between his fingers. “I can’t remember when I last ‘ad a proper bath or shower that weren’t from the pouring rain.”_

_“Keep the clothes. I washed your own, but you could really use some new ones, if you don’t mind me saying so. I have a coat for you too. Come, let me show you.” Remus followed him to the entrance hall where Regulus held out the coat for him._

_“I’ll look like a whole new bloke,” Remus said. “Proper fine for the streets, though. Coppers might think I stole it or summat.” He smiled gently. “You don’t ‘ave to give me this. You don’t owe me anything.”_


	2. It's not the Money...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how do you guys like the story so far? We hope we're not disappointing. Oh, and Zayhad has made another piece of art for this chapter :)

The next morning, Regulus got up before the sun’s first rays even broke the sky. He tiptoed over to the guest room to check on Remus, only to find the room empty. He panicked a little, worried for his guest. When he hurried to the front door to see if there were signs of him having left, he found the light turned on in the living room and saw him sitting out on the balcony smoking. With a sigh of relief, Regulus went to put on a robe and slippers before opened the door to the balcony. “Aren’t you cold?” he asked. Although Remus had put on his jacket (where his cigarettes must have been as well) it was chilly outside, and earlier that night he had been shaking in his room.

“I was a bit hot,” Remus said and took another puff of his cigarette. He had drawn his legs up to his chest and his eyes were fixed towards the lights of the city. “City’s beautiful from up ‘ere.”

Regulus sat down next to his guest. “I didn’t know you were an addict. I mean, you didn’t seem high when I met you. Not that we spent much time together, but…”

“I wasn’t proper high then. Were out looking for a dealer, actually, and that’s when I saw you with those two, so I just... I don’t know. Guess I’m just the friendly neighbour’ood junkie.”

Regulus sighed. “What are you on?” he asked, fearing that the answer was heroin. As far as he knew, that was the most dangerous kind of drug-addiction.

“Mostly smack, if you must know,” Remus said as if it were no big deal. “But I take what I can get.”

“Smack?” Regulus asked, admittedly not well-versed in the drug lingo.

“Heroin,” explained Remus, putting out the cigarette and immediately lighting another.

Regulus studied him for a moment. The hand that was holding the cigarette was shaking, Regulus noticed, but it seemed as if he was desperately trying to control it. “Wouldn’t you like to stop?”

Remus shrugged and blew smoke out his nose. “I don’t really ‘ave a reason to.”

“There’s plenty of reason! It makes you ill. Makes you have to live on the street, unable to hold a job. It must be a nightmare having to find a way of financing your dope. How do you do that, by the way?”

Remus wrinkled his nose, looking like he was considering an answer. “I’d rather not get into that right now,” he mumbled and took another drag of his cigarette. “And aye, I know it makes me ill and I can’t get a job, and that, but I don’t really care, so... It makes me feel good.”

“It also makes you feel bad. More of the time than it feels good, doesn’t it? Haven’t you ever tried to stop?”

“It’ll just get worse if I stop,” Remus said as if it didn’t really matter to him. “Besides, no one else cares if I do drugs, so why should I?”

“Someone must have... What about your family? Where are they?”

“Why are you so interested?” Remus asked, eying the neat young man beside him. “They’re gone, if you must know, and I’m alone.”

“I’m just... I just feel like it’s such a waste. You’re so young and you’re destroying yourself and your life. But I’m sorry about your family.”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it.” Sensing that Regulus wasn’t about to let it go, Remus tried to explain, “I didn’t ‘ave the privileges that some ‘ave. I ended up like this and I reckon I’m just an ‘opeless case.” He coughed a few times again and wrapped an arm around himself for warmth. “Thanks for the concern, and that, but you really shouldn’t bother.”

“Just because you aren’t born into wealth or a loving family doesn’t mean there’s nothing else to do but be an addict. If so, then all streets would be packed with them!” He quickly realised how offensive that might sound to someone he had just met. “I know it’s easy for me to say. I’m sure it must be difficult, but you just sound like you’ve given up.”

“I need it to deal with the pain, reyt?” Remus said. “But like I said: it’s nice of you to worry, but you really shouldn’t bother.”

“What pain?” inquired Regulus.

Remus turned towards him and looked him in the eye. “Life.”

“You know, everyone has pain in their life. What happened to you that was so bad you can’t get over it?”

“I’d really rather not talk about it,” Remus said again and put out his cigarette. “I don’t feel so good so I think I’ll go lie down again, if that’s alreyt. I’ll leave when I’ve slept a bit more.”

“You shouldn’t leave until you’re well again. I’d like for you to at least be well enough to eat a proper meal before you go.”

“If that makes you ‘appy, luv,” Remus said and got to his feet. He pushed the dirty fringe out of his eyes and Regulus noticed that their colour was amber.

“You should get a hot bath too. I can draw you one, if you’d like. Maybe not now, but later? Also, let me find you a clean T-shirt and boxers, then I’ll put your clothes in the washer,” said Regulus, following Remus inside and locking the balcony door behind him.

“You really shouldn’t go through so much trouble for me. A simple ‘thank you’ would’ve been fine.” Remus twitched again and made his way to the guest room on unsteady legs.

Regulus found the shirt and boxers he had promised and put Remus’ clothes in the washer. Looking at them, he thought that the dustbin would be a more suitable place for them, but they weren’t his clothes, so he couldn’t just make that call. He decided to let Remus keep what he had already given him and see if he could also find a sweater and jeans that fit him. Regulus was small - both slender and short - so Remus wouldn’t be able to fit any of his trousers. Remus was so underweight that the width would probably be okay, but they would definitely be too short. Regulus dug into a large box in the corner of his wardrobe and found a pair of jeans that had belonged to one of his ex’s. The man had broken his heart but Regulus had missed him like crazy, so he hadn’t been able to bring himself to throw the jeans out. Well, it was about time to let them go, he thought. While Liam had been fairly slim, the jeans would still be too big for Remus’ scrawny frame, but a belt could compensate for that. As he went through his clothes, he got the idea of also giving Remus a proper coat instead of that tattered old jacket he had. He found one of his best and warmest coats, satisfied with his choice. He had wanted to give Remus money, but now that he knew he was a junkie, he wasn’t so keen on that, knowing he would probably just use them for heroin. So, some good clothes were a better idea.

**o0o0o**

Remus stayed in bed most of the day. He was starting to run a fever but tried to hide it because he didn’t want Regulus to ask him to stay any longer than necessary. Even though it was nice and cosy, he didn’t belong here. Nobody had been so caring towards him in years, and it made him a bit uneasy, because Regulus was a complete stranger with no relation to him. Not that Remus feared him or suspected him of ulterior motives. The lad seemed genuinely good-hearted and immensely naïve. A boy like that would be eaten alive on the street, Remus thought, so good thing that he was privileged and had an expensive flat in a good part of town. He sighed. No, he couldn’t stay, regardless of how hospitable his host was. The thought of his next fix was also starting to pull, so he would need to get back on the streets soon.

Regulus lured him out in the late afternoon with the promise of a hot bath. Sinking into the steaming sweet-scented water, Remus let out a sigh of contentment, feeling the bath salts caress his dry skin and heat seep into his sore muscles, loosening and relaxing them. It felt so good it almost chased away the progressing withdrawal symptoms for a while.

**o0o0o**

“Is he still there?” Sirius asked at the other end of the line. “Not causing you any trouble, is he? I can come over if you don’t want to be alone with him, you know.”

“No, it’s fine. He’s very modest, really, and he’s been sleeping most of the time, anyway. He’s taking a bath now. Christ, was he dirty! I don’t know when he last had a shower.”

“Yeah, don’t think I didn’t notice the smell. It’s really a shame for such a young person to be living that kind of life. He can’t be much older than us. Do you know where he’s from? Does he have a family somewhere?”

“He wouldn’t talk about his family, only say that he’s from Yorkshire. Leeds, more specifically. His accent leaves no doubt. It’s quite heavy, even though I think he’s lived in London for years.”

“Well, I haven’t had the pleasure of hearing the bloke speak yet.” Sirius sighed. “Look, Reggie, I know you feel like you owe him but be careful, yeah? He might be nice now, but...”

“He isn’t dangerous, Sirius. Why would he risk his own neck to save a complete stranger the other night if he was going to hurt me now?”

“I’m not saying he’s dangerous per se. I’m saying when he gets desperate for another fix, he might not be as friendly as he is now, so don’t get in his way when he wants to leave.”

“Yeah, yeah,” said Regulus offhandedly. “Anyway, I’m gonna run. Need to finish dinner.”

When Remus finally emerged from the bathroom, clean-shaven and dressed in the clothes Regulus had laid out for him, Regulus could barely recognise him. Apart from still looking a bit sick (and too skinny), he almost looked like a normal young man. “Blimey,” smiled Regulus. “You look refreshed. Didn’t it feel good?”

“It did,” Remus confirmed and carded a hand through his hair, the now untangled locks sliding smoothly between his fingers. “I can’t remember when I last ‘ad a proper bath or shower that weren’t from the pouring rain.”

“Keep the clothes. I washed your own, but you could really use some new ones, if you don’t mind me saying so. I have a coat for you too. Come, let me show you.” Remus followed him to the entrance hall where Regulus held out the coat for him.

“I’ll look like a whole new bloke,” Remus said. “Proper fine for the streets, though. Coppers might think I stole it or summat.” He smiled gently. “You don’t ‘ave to give me this. You don’t owe me anything.”

“No!” said Regulus, horrified that Remus wouldn’t accept his gift. “You _have_ to take it. It’ll keep you warm. Please take it. I don’t like thinking about you freezing out there. It’s the middle of winter.”

Remus nodded. “Well, thank you, then. If it makes you ‘appy, then who am I to say no?”

“Brilliant,” beamed Regulus. “And here,” he handed Remus a pair of soft leather gloves and a thick beanie.

Remus took the things and eyed them closely. They looked expensive, so he could always sell them for some quick cash if he was in a tight spot.

“I’ve made dinner. I hope your stomach is feeling better and you can eat some. I’ve made tomato soup and rice and chicken. All should be gentle on the stomach,” Regulus said and ushered Remus to the kitchen.

“Thanks,” Remus said and sat down, scratching his arm though the fabric of his new sweater. It felt surreal, all of it. A warm bed, food, bath, new clothes.

It was evident to Remus that he was disappointing Regulus by only eating half a bowl of soup and a piece of bread. He looked down at the bowl. It tasted really good – the best he had had in a while, in fact, but his stomach was twisting and turning and the harder he tried to hold back the shakes, the more uncomfortable he got. The withdrawal was flexing its claws, poising itself for digging into him for real. Could he leave now? No, Regulus probably wouldn’t let him leave yet, not with how determined he was on taking care of him. No, he would just wait until he was asleep and then leave. “Thanks for the food,” he said and pushed the bowl away. “It were very good, but me stomach still in’t well.”

“Would you like to go sit in the living room and talk or just watch telly? Or are you too knackered and would rather go back to bed?” asked Regulus.

Remus considered it for a moment but decided on going back to bed. He wasn’t feeling well at all.

**o0o0o**

Regulus woke early the next morning. He was planning on calling in sick because of his guest. On his way to the bathroom, he saw the door to the guest room standing open and found the room empty. “Remus?” he called. When there was no answer, he checked the whole flat and found no Remus. His clothes were also gone, including the coat and gloves. Regulus was flabbergasted. Had he just left without saying goodbye? Why? His feelings a little hurt, he started preparing to go to work. No reason to call in sick now. On his way out the door he grabbed his keys and wallet. Wait - wasn’t his wallet a bit light? He remembered having quite a few coins in there. He opened it and found every single coin and banknote gone. He stared into the empty compartments, unable to believe it. Remus had taken all his money? How could he do that after what Regulus had done for him? Taken him to the hospital, taken him home to care for him. Feeding him and giving him clothes? He remembered what his brother had said about junkies being untrustworthy and unstable, and he felt like an idiot for being so naïve.

**o0o0o**

Sirius had just arrived at work – a small game development company he ran with his best friend James Potter - when his phone rang. Looking at the display he saw that it was his brother. “Yeah?” He really wasn’t that surprised when hearing that Remus was gone and had taken the money from Regulus’ wallet. “I told you, Reggie,” he sighed. “You should’ve just put him in a shelter instead of bringing him home.”

Regulus sighed. “It’s not the money. It’s the principle of it. That he stole from me after I had taken him in and helped him.”

“I’m sorry to say, but he can’t think straight, Reggie. The drugs rule these people’s lives. They just have to have them, no matter the cost, really.”

“Yeah,” mumbled Regulus, still unable to stop being hurt and angry.

“Just forget about it, yeah? Regard it as his reward for saving you and then just move on.”

* * *

**TEASER for next week's chapter:**

_Remus let his finger run along the edge of the glass before taking another gulp of cola. “Could get addicted to this,” he joked._

_“The cola or me?” asked Regulus, biting his lip and feeling red-faced when he realised what he had said._

_Remus rested his chin on his hand and eyed Regulus for a moment. “Mm... both. I ‘aven’t ‘ad a taste of you yet, though. But you do look quite delicious…” he said with a glint in his eye and a teasing smile._

_Now Regulus was certain he didn’t just feel red-faced but looked it as well. “Er... t-thanks... I guess.” He turned and made himself busy with preparing a plate of cucumber sandwiches, hoping to hide how flustered Remus’ (compliment? Joke? Pick-up line?) had made him._


	3. Don’t Offer Yourself up like That!

The next day Regulus was sitting on his sofa, binge-watching Westworld on HBO, trying to enjoy a Saturday with just himself, when the doorbell rang. He groaned, hoping it wasn’t someone who expected to come in. When he opened the door, he was taken aback to find Remus standing on the doorstep. He hadn’t expected to ever see him again. “What - are you here to see if you missed anything? If there’s more to steal?” he snapped.

Remus was shivering and nipping at his bottom lip. He looked worn out. “Um… I just sort of felt bad for taking your money, and that. So I thought I’d spend what’s left on a cup of coffee for you.” He held out a paper cup with tepid coffee in it. He cast a look at it and bit his lip again. “Reckon it got a bit cold on the way over ‘ere…”

Regulus looked at the coffee and snorted. “That’s the most expensive cup of coffee I’ve ever had.”

Remus seemed a little hurt by the statement; not that he didn’t think he deserve it. “Can I repay you some other way?” he said and took a few steps towards Regulus, running a hand suggestively down his chest. “I feel proper bad for stealing from you.”

Regulus’ face turned to a look of surprise as he took a step back. “What do you mean? You don’t... No, I won’t! Don’t offer yourself up like that!”

“Why not?” Remus asked, a little surprised. “You don’t want me?” he asked and took another step forward. “I thought you were gay. That’s the vibe I got, anyway. Come on - I give a proper good blowjob, I’ve ‘eard.”

“No!” said Regulus, backing farther away. “Is that what you do to get money for drugs? Are _you_ even gay?”

“I am. Why do you think I live in the streets in the first place? I just want to repay you.”

“No! You don’t have to repay me. It’s not the money I’m upset about. But you made me feel like a fool for trusting you. I liked you. I saw the good in you and it didn’t cross my mind that you would betray my trust like that.”

“I just…” Remus said and scratched his arm again. “I just really, really needed a fix. You don’t understand. But I’m right sorry. I really am,” he mumbled and turned around. “I’ll just leave, then. If you don’t want me to repay you.”

“No...” said Regulus, stopping Remus with a hand on the shoulder. “Come on in for a bit. I don’t want you to repay me. An apology is worth more, really.”

Remus looked at him with dull eyes but a tentative smile appeared on his face. “Thanks. And again… I’m proper sorry.”

“Yeah, alright. I know it must be a hard life.” Regulus closed the door behind Remus. “I was just about to fix myself some tea. Won’t you join me?”

“S-sure,” Remus said and took off his coat and shoes. He looked around the room and after dragging his feet around the kitchen and living room for a few minutes, he sat down to rest on a chair.

“What would you like to drink? Tea? Coffee? Coke? I mean Coca Cola! Not the other kind...”

“Cola would be nice. And if you got some painkillers, that would be grand,” Remus said, looking at Regulus with tired eyes.

Regulus nodded and went to his medicine drawer in his bedroom. Now that he thought about it, he was glad that he kept those things in here and not in the bathroom like most people, because Remus would most likely have raided it otherwise. He found a bottle of Percodan, quite strong pain-killers, leftover from when he cracked a rib last spring. He eyed the label, hesitating. Should he give Remus some? It was a drug, in a way, although nothing as bad as the street drugs Remus took. But if he got a few of these, perhaps it would make him feel a bit better and ease his shaking. Perhaps then he wouldn’t be in such a hurry to go back out to blow some dirty bloke for cash for another fix.

“Here you go,” said Regulus and placed two pills next to Remus’ cola. “They’re quite strong, so they should do the job.”

“Thank you,” Remus smiled and quickly downed the Percodans with three large gulps of cola. To his surprise he started sneezing. “I forgot about the bubbles in that,” he said, rubbing his nose.

Regulus laughed, but stopped quickly, afraid Remus would feel ridiculed.

Remus, however, started laughing as well and put the glass down on the table. “Can I maybe get another glass if I promise to drink it slower?”

Regulus started laughing again and so did Remus. They laughed until they were out of breath and had tears in their eyes. Finally getting himself under control, Regulus poured Remus another glass. “Feeling better? They say that laughter is the best medicine.”

“Yeah, a bit,” Remus said and let his finger run along the edge of the glass before taking another gulp of cola. “Could get addicted to this,” he joked.

“The cola or me?” asked Regulus, biting his lip and feeling red-faced when he realised what he had said.

Remus rested his chin on his hand and eyed Regulus for a moment. “Mm... both. I ‘aven’t ‘ad a taste of you yet, though. But you do look quite delicious…” he said with a glint in his eye and a teasing smile.

Now Regulus was certain he didn’t just _feel_ red-faced but looked it as well. “Er... t-thanks... I guess.” He turned and made himself busy with preparing a plate of cucumber sandwiches, hoping to hide how flustered Remus’ _compliment? Joke? Pick-up line?_ had made him.

“So, Regulus... what do you do for a living? Oh, these are good,” said Remus, taking a bite of one of the small sandwiches. “It’s been ages since I’ve ‘ad a cucumber sandwich.”

“Thank you,” smiled Regulus. “I’m a lawyer. Well, an intern, actually. I haven’t taken my final exams yet. I’m just 22, so... But I’ll get a real job at the firm once I’ve passed all my exams and finish my internship.”

“Oh, so the posh coat does fit,” Remus said. “You must be proper smart, then. Being a lawyer, and that. I might get lucky and ‘ave you defend me some day.”

“I hope I won’t have to,” said Regulus seriously. “Besides, my parents’ firm mostly does corporate and economics. So unless you end up some bigshot committing fraud for millions...”

“I highly doubt that,” Remus said, scratching his arm. “I’m mostly in need of money.” He sighed. “I think I’ll go for a smoke.”

“Go to the balcony, yeah? I’ll get you an ashtray.”

Remus went outside, not bothering to put on his shoes or coat, and sat down on a chair before lighting a cigarette. It relaxed him as soon as he took the first puff and he leaned his head back, taking in the slight buzz from the nicotine.

Regulus let him sit by himself, not wanting Remus to feel like his every move was being monitored. He used the waiting time to clean up in the kitchen.

About ten minutes later, Remus came back inside, smiling softly at Regulus. “That ‘elped a bit. The pills too.”

“You should have put on some clothes,” said Regulus, looking at Remus’ red cheeks and nose. “Anyway - how about staying for a pizza? I was having a relaxing Saturday, so wasn’t planning on cooking tonight. Doesn’t have to be pizza, if you prefer some other kind of takeaway.”

“I’d like that. I’m used to taking whatever I can get,” Remus said and rubbed his hands to get some warmth back in them. “So I’ll ‘ave whatever you’re ‘aving.”

“Want to watch a film while we eat?” asked Regulus and handed Remus the remote. “You can just flick through HBO with that button until you find one you think is interesting. There’s Netflix too, if you’d rather find something there.”

Remus eyed him but then took the remote and dropped down onto the sofa. “Never tried ABO or Netflix,” he said while trying to figure out how to operate the site. “Don’t think it was launched before I hit the streets... ‘aven’t watched much telly since.” He looked up at Regulus, who just stood there watching him. Then he patted the seat of the sofa. “Won’t you sit with me, or should I take a shower first? In case I stink. Can’t really smell it meself anymore.”

“I don’t mind sitting next to you. You had a bath just two days ago and it’s been so cold outside, so you don’t stink. But you’re very welcome to take one. The pizza won’t be here for another half hour so there’s time. I’ll just go put out a towel and shaver for you, yeah?”

When Remus passed Regulus in the hallway, he gave him a gentle pat on the bum before disappearing into the bathroom. Regulus’ jaw fell open. He was plenty used to being flirted with, but the way Remus did it seemed to fluster him. He wondered why Remus was doing it. Just for a laugh or because he wanted to show that the offer of a sexual favour still stood? Or was he, in fact, truly interested in him?

Remus emerged from the bathroom a good twenty minutes later in a fluffy tracksuit and plush slipper socs, which Regulus had laid out for him. Regulus had changed to a similar outfit, he noticed.

“My comfy-style for my comfy-evenings,” Regulus explained, carrying the pizza, which had just arrived, into the living room.

“Looks good on you. Although you would probably look good in a potato sack,” Remus smiled and shuffled over to the sofa. He was exhausted but wanted to keep Regulus company and he thought it could be nice to watch a film for once. Like normal people did on weekends: snuggling up with friends on the couch with pizza and TV.

When Regulus went into the kitchen to fetch napkins and plates, his phone rang. “No, Sirius,” he said, holding the phone pressed to his ear with the shoulder while reaching up to get the plates out of the cupboard. “I don’t regret turning down that party invitation. I’m having a very relaxing night at home. By the way - I’ve got company.”

“Ooh, you have a date?” Sirius asked in a teasing voice at the other end of the line. “Try not to get dropped off at the wrong side of town this time.”

Regulus snorted. “That wasn’t a date. It was a company party. Anyway, it’s not that kind of date. It’s Remus.”

“ _What?_ ” Sirius exclaimed. “No, Reggie! He pissed on your hospitality and stole from you – and you let him back into the flat? Why don’t you just give him all your possessions and be done with it!”

“He won’t do it again,” said Regulus, regretting having told his brother. Sirius had always felt like he needed to protect him, and in truth Regulus _had_ needed it when they were children, because he had always been soft and sensitive, while Sirius was the opposite. But he was an adult now, although Sirius had problems seeing him as other than his baby brother. “He came back on his own to apologise. He regretted it.”

“Oh, and he gave the money back, yeah?” asked Sirius sarcastically. “As soon as he gets the itch, he’s gone again, Reggie, with whatever else of value he can find in your home. Don’t get involved, do you hear me? You’ll just end up getting hurt. You can’t be friends with an addict because you can’t trust them and they’ll take advantage of you.”

“Have a little faith in humanity, yeah?” said Regulus, annoyed. “Anyway, it’s none of your business. I have to go. He’s waiting in the living room.”

“Sorry about the wait,” said Regulus when he came back. “My brother called.”

“You have a brother?” Remus asked and looked around. There were no family portraits in the flat that suggested that Regulus was close with his family. Remus remembered his own childhood home. There had been lots of family pictures on the wall; of grandparents, great grandparents, aunts and uncles, and of course Remus and his parents. But the ones of him were probably burned by now, he thought.

“Yeah. A big brother. You’ve actually met him. He was the one who carried you to the car when we found you passed out in that factory. He’s a good brother. Always has my back.”

“Must be grand ‘aving someone like that,” Remus mumbled and leaned back on the sofa. “How about your parents? Do they know you’re gay?”

“Yeah,” nodded Regulus and slapped a large piece of pizza onto both of their plates. “They weren’t happy about it when they found out, I can tell you that, but at least they didn’t disown me or anything. But they’re ashamed of it and keep telling me not to go flaunting it in public. That’s not really my style, anyway, but if it were up to them, I would stay in the closet forever. I don’t want that, though. I don’t want to live a lie. But I doubt I would have had the courage to stand by my decision to be openly gay if it hadn’t been for my brother.”

“You’re lucky, ‘aving someone like ‘im,” Remus said, letting his head fall back and eyes slip shut. The warm buzz in his body was so relaxing he almost fell asleep. “Anyway, I suspect most people can tell when someone is gay. I knew it the moment I laid eyes on you. Not that you act flamboyant or girly, or anything, but I could just sense it.”

“Really?” said Regulus. “That’s not why I wanted to help you, though. If you were a woman, I would have helped you too. So it’s not because I’m gay,” he stressed, afraid Remus would think he had ulterior motives.

“I know,” Remus mumbled. “Since you so intently declined me sexual offer earlier. You’re just a nice bloke.”

“I try to be. Anyway, let’s get started, shall we? Before the pizza gets cold,” said Regulus, pushing “start” on the film they had decided on.

Remus tried to focus on the film but he was just so tired that not long after they had finished eating, he slipped into a light doze, his body sagging against the backrest and his head tilting to the side to lean against Regulus’ shoulder.

Regulus didn’t have the heart to push him away and it also felt kind of nice. A bit later Remus suddenly sat up straight when he spotted a brown cat walking into the room. It was ugly (to put it politely) and skinny, with a threadbare fur and battered ears. Regulus could have informed him that Sirius had once described the cat as looking as if a big dog had chewed him up and spit him out again.

“Oh, that’s Kreacher,” Regulus explained. “He’s very shy, so he usually doesn’t come out until a stranger has visited a few times. That’s why you haven’t seen him before.”

Kreacher walked past them, a suspicious eye on Remus, and jumped onto the sofa to lie on the back rest next to Regulus’ head, on the opposite side of Remus.

“Seems you like to pick up pathetic lifeforms off the street,” Remus said, eying the cat and then Regulus. He sent an apologetic smile when seeing the look on Regulus’ face. “I meant no disrespect. It were just a Star Wars quote, you know – the pathetic lifeforms. I know ‘ow people feel about their pets. I know a lot of ‘omeless people who take better care of their dogs than themselves.”

“Kreacher was a stray, yes,” Regulus confirmed (feeling a little sad that Remus clearly considered himself pathetic). “He followed me home one day. Wouldn’t give up on me. He was just determined to be mine and hasn’t changed his mind since. He’s extremely committed to me, but it’s very difficult for others to earn his trust.”

Remus eyed the cat again as it lay there, whipping its tail back and forth, suspicious eyes drilling into Remus. Remus understood. If you lived on the street you learned to be sceptical of people. “He’s a lucky cat that you took ‘im in, and I think he knows it,” he commented.

“You’re staying the night, yeah?” asked Regulus when Remus yawned loudly.

“That’d be grand, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course I don’t mind! I don’t like the thought of you going back out there when it’s so cold and raining, on top of that. And the guest room is empty, anyway.”

Remus turned to look out the window, as if needing to confirm Regulus’ claim that it was raining. Then he let his body slide back into its comfortable position leaned against Regulus.

Since Remus didn’t show any intention of getting up to go to bed, Regulus adjusted himself a bit so he could rest his head against the armrest and put his feet up. They sat like that for a bit before both dozed off.

It was about 2 a.m. when Regulus woke up. Remus was still leaned against him, fast asleep, his breathing slow and steady. Regulus didn’t feel like moving, but he had a vicious case of pins and needles in his right leg. “Remus?” he said and shook him softly. “Remus, you have to move a bit.”

“Mm...” Remus mumbled. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright, just... you’re lying on my leg and it’s asleep.”

Remus opened his eyes and put a hand on Regulus’ left leg. “This one?” Regulus nodded and Remus moved a bit so Regulus could adjust himself. Then Remus started gently massaging the leg. “This usually helps.”

“Mm...” smiled Regulus, enjoying Remus’ touch. “I thought you were looking forward to sleeping on a soft mattress instead of bony me,” he joked.

“I sleep quite well on bony you,” Remus said, looking into Regulus’ eyes, hands still massaging his leg.

Regulus gulped. He wanted to touch Remus, to kiss him, but he couldn’t do that. He had just told him that he hadn’t helped him because he wanted something in return.

“Does it feel better?” Remus asked, leaning a bit closer to Regulus.

Regulus could only gulp and stare into those pools of amber.

“Does it?” Remus repeated, their faces just a few inches apart now.

Regulus could feel the warm breath puffing against his lips. He kept staring, then nodded slowly.

“Good,” Remus said in an almost whisper and closed the gap between them, putting a hand up on Regulus’ cheek. He could feel Regulus’ lips tremble a bit but he didn’t pull away.

Then Regulus kissed back, his eyes falling shut. He hadn’t realised just how much he had wanted to kiss Remus, but it turned out to be a lot. After a minute he pushed him back, although the other man was reluctant to let go. “We can’t... I can’t... I don’t want to take advantage of you. You don’t owe me anything.”

Remus blinked a few times, eying Regulus in surprise. “You’re not taking advantage of me.”

“Yes. You offered me a favour, and I said no. I don’t want you to do something just because you feel like you owe me.”

Remus sighed and leaned forward, resting his forehead on his hands. He had really wanted to go further, but if Regulus didn’t want to, Remus wouldn’t push him. Perhaps he just wasn’t interested in getting physical with someone like Remus – a street rat turning tricks for dope. And who could blame him? Regulus was wealthy, well-groomed and beautiful. If he wanted a shag, he could go to any gay bar and have his pick. Remus suddenly felt exhausted and his body was starting to ache again, making it hard for him to focus. “Could I… you ‘ave more of those painkillers?” he asked.

“Remus...” said Regulus and gave his shoulder a squeeze. “Those were really strong and I don’t think you should have any more. I won’t support your drug addiction. I don’t want to help you destroy your body. You can have an aspirin, if you want.”

“Mm...” Remus sighed. “They don’t help a lot… Can I at least have three or four? I ‘ave a bad ‘eadache.”

Regulus hesitated but then decided there was no harm done in three aspirins. They were over-the-counter drugs, after all. He got up to fetch the pills and gave Remus three before putting on the kettle to make some tea with milk and honey. “This should help you sleep, yeah?” he said as he handed Remus a steaming mug. Then he sat down next to him on the sofa.

Remus sat with the mug in shaking hands. He had drawn his legs up on the sofa while just sitting there, looking at the steam rising from the mug. The aspirins didn’t help at all. He really, really needed something stronger soon to ward off the abstinences, which were slowly creeping up on him.

“Why do you do this to yourself?” asked Regulus. “Don’t you want to get clean and feel good all the time? Right now you’re only feeling good when you’re high, and the rest of the time you feel horrible.”

“I feel good when I do it, so I just do it all the time,” Remus said. He eyed his host with tired eyes. “Could... could you maybe lend me a bit of money? Then I can go get a hit and I’ll be alreyt again. Then we can watch another movie or whatever you want to do.”

“No. You don’t feel good all the time,” said Regulus, ignoring the request for money. “Most of the time you aren’t on a high and then you’re sick and desperate. What I mean about feeling good all the time is that you don’t suffer the way you do now and the way you did last you were here. Look at me - _I_ feel good except when I’m ill. You need to get out of this, Remus. It will be hard, but once you’re over withdrawal you will feel better than you have in years.”

Remus shook his head. “I’m fine. I just really need drugs, and as long as I get them, I’m fine,” he tried to explain.

“Will you honestly tell me that your life is fine? That this is how you would like to live even if you could choose any lifestyle you wanted? What is it you’re running away from?”

Remus dropped his head, feeling cornered. He needed to get away from here – and soon, because Regulus’ questions hurt. “I think I’ll go to bed now,” he mumbled. “I don’t feel so good.”

Regulus sighed and got up. “Alright. Bed’s ready for you. And please -” he stopped Remus with a hand on the shoulder, “don’t leave without saying goodbye this time.”

Remus forced a smile but didn’t really give him an answer before dragging himself off to the room.

**o0o0o**

Regulus had left his door open, hoping to wake if Remus got up and tried to sneak off. However, it turned out that he was good at being quiet, because Regulus woke, once again, to find his flat empty. At least this time nothing was stolen. When he sat down on a chair by the kitchen table, Kreacher came strolling in, rubbing himself against his beloved master’s leg and purring up at him. When not really getting a response, the cat jumped up onto the table and rubbed its head against Regulus’ chin. 

“Hi, Kreacher,” mumbled Regulus and ran a hand over the cat’s back. “Been stood up again. I don’t have much luck in my love life, do I? Not that we had anything going…”

The cat looked at him with its big eyes, still purring and moving an ear attentively as if to say it was listening to his woes, but didn’t understand why Regulus would need anyone else when he had Kreacher.

“You’ll never abandon me, will you, Kreacher?” asked Regulus and kissed the cat’s forehead.

Kreacher meowed in confirmation, rubbing his head against his master’s chin.

* * *

**TEASER for next week's chapter:**

_Regulus raised his eyebrows. “You boyfriend got you hooked?”_

_“He was a junkie ‘imself. I tried to take care of ‘im and ‘elp 'im out of 'is addiction, but instead I ending up using as well.”_

_“How could you let that happen?”_

_Remus shrugged. “I were proper depressed. Had been, pretty much since I left ‘ome. On one of me really bad days I let ‘im talk me into taking a fix. He promised it would take away all me pain. And it did.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can probably tell, the illustration is just a sketch. Zayhad didn't have time to finish it in time. When she does at some point in the future, we'll let you know, so you can go back and see it.


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